Apologies- hard to give and hard to receive when we've been wronged, hurt or otherwise offended. There are good apologies, (we'll get to those in a minute) and bad apologies. The "I apologize but...." which is a non apology and the "I'm so sorry" (said with a good rendition of Puss and Boots's sad face for maximum affect) but completely lacking in sincerity. Or a favorite of public figures trying to back step a politically incorrect comment or action- "I'm sorry if I've offended anyone. I never intended to... (fill in the blank). I have, unfortunately received all of these types apologies. They either make you yawn or more than likely, leave you with steam coming out of your ears.
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Then there are the good ones. The ones that often surprise us by their passion, their honest, heart-felt emotion and their unexpectedness. These are often accompanied by tears (real ones, not crocodile tears) hugs, and in relationships, the heady bliss of making up. Those are the best to get- if ever a need arises for any of us to receive an apology. We actually feel like forgiving someone after receiving one of these apologies.
I think the hardest apologies are those given in love relationships. And often times those are the hardest to accept as well. If you have done something wrong to your significant other, ah what to do? I think timing is everything- as in all things
Love. Just don't wait for the bus to leave the station. A delayed apology, though better than none, often loses it's meaning if too much time has passed.
In my Romance novel,
No Regrets, Aidan and Jamie often find themselves in conflict over mundane things as well as having some serious, life changing battles. But when Jamie finds out what she wants most in this world, Aidan plans to destroy, it creates an impasse beyond apologies. In this case, "I'm sorry" just won't cut it. Besides, there is no way he will change his mind, though he does have good reasons for what he plans to do. This is the ultimate dilemma and one which will test their love to it's very limits. Similarly, when the most unimaginable thing happens to Aidan, Jamie blames herself and the harm is so deep that she could not come up with an apology that would even begin to do justice for her remorse. It seems that all is lost between these two wonderful but tormented people. In the end, real love is the only solution and an apology is not a consideration- only complete self sacrifice can heal them and bring them together in the end, if they can muster the courage to do it.
When it comes to apologies, it does take courage, humility and self sacrifice to admit you've hurt someone else. Yet, sometimes an apology isn't enough, after all actions speak louder than words. That is where love comes into the room. Love is an action word. Love is a more powerful force than ego or vanity. In fact, there is no other force greater than love. It can move mountains, heal sickness and mend conflicts of seemingly unsurmountable odds. And in the end, I think Aidan and Jamie, and the rest of us can triumph with the power of love because in the end, love really does conquer all. And isn't love what a true apology is all about?
