Apology Accepted.... or Not.

Apologies- hard to give and hard to receive when we've been wronged, hurt or otherwise offended. There are good apologies, (we'll get to those in a minute) and bad apologies. The "I apologize but...." which is a non apology and the "I'm so sorry" (said with a good rendition of Puss and Boots's sad face for maximum affect) but completely lacking in sincerity.  Or a favorite of public figures trying to back step a politically incorrect comment or action- "I'm sorry if I've offended anyone. I never intended to... (fill in the blank). I have, unfortunately received all of these types apologies. They either make you yawn or more than likely, leave you with steam coming out of your ears.

Coming out Soon!

Then there are the good ones. The ones that often surprise us by their passion, their honest, heart-felt emotion and their unexpectedness. These are often accompanied by tears (real ones, not crocodile tears) hugs, and in relationships, the heady bliss of making up. Those are the best to get- if ever a need arises for any of us to receive an apology. We actually feel like forgiving someone after receiving one of these apologies.

I think the hardest apologies are those given in love relationships. And often times those are the hardest to accept as well. If you have done something wrong to your significant other, ah what to do? I think timing is everything- as in all things Love. Just don't wait for the bus to leave the station. A delayed apology, though better than none, often loses it's meaning if too much time has passed.

In my Romance novel, No Regrets, Aidan and Jamie often find themselves in conflict over mundane things as well as having some serious, life changing battles. But when Jamie finds out what she wants most in this world, Aidan plans to destroy, it creates an impasse beyond apologies. In this case, "I'm sorry" just won't cut it. Besides, there is no way he will change his mind, though he does have good reasons for what he plans to do. This is the ultimate dilemma and one which will test their love to it's very limits. Similarly, when the most unimaginable thing happens to Aidan, Jamie blames herself and the harm is so deep that she could not come up with an apology that would even begin to do justice for her remorse. It seems that all is lost between these two wonderful but tormented people. In the end, real love is the only solution and an apology is not a consideration- only complete self sacrifice can heal them and bring them together in the end, if they can muster the courage to do it.

When it comes to apologies, it does take courage, humility and self sacrifice to admit you've hurt someone else. Yet, sometimes an apology isn't enough, after all actions speak louder than words. That is where love comes into the room. Love is an action word. Love is a more powerful force than ego or vanity. In fact, there is no other force greater than love. It can move mountains, heal sickness and mend conflicts of seemingly unsurmountable odds. And in the end, I think Aidan and Jamie, and the rest of us can triumph with the power of love because in the end, love really does conquer all.  And isn't love what a true apology is all about?

Reuniting with your first love - fiction or reality?

Coming out soon!

We all carry memories of our first love, that cute boy  or girl who caught our eye when we were young and foolish, and without a care for tomorrow. Remember those days? There are those who say you can never go back. For Jamie and Aidan, the heroes of my new book No Regrets, this just is not true.

Sometimes, the happily ever after takes time. Lots of time. Sometimes, we get it right the first time but the timing does not cooperate with our hearts. So, we anguish over our lost love, move on to adult responsibilities: work, maybe college, career, building a stable life and one day we wake up feeling a loss of what we gave up so many years ago. Most of us move on, meet someone new and even marry and have children. But let's face it, there is always nostalgia for your first love- that love that lives forever in your heart- with qualities he may or may not still have. Such is young love, so optimistic and promising- with today never ending and mundane life never intervening.

I have heard of people finding their first love again ten years later, thirty years later, or even fifty years later! Sometimes, someone makes a mark on your heart, and they never leave it. So, it is with Jamie and Aidan, the heroes of my book No Regrets. It has been fifteen years since Jamie has laid eyes on her hometown of Seabrook, Florida. And fifteen years since she has laid eyes on her first and only love, Aidan Brice. Now all grown up and both battered by tragedies, they have grown into different people. Aidan has grown cynical and mistrustful due to his experiences. Jamie has grown closed and detached from her own life challenges. But despite their suffering and the changes it has wrought in them, their love remains a burning flame that no amount of time or tragedy can diminish. When they are finally reunited, events take place that would once again tear them apart. But, as we will see while we take that journey with Jamie and Aidan, love truly conquers all.

Reunion romances, whether fictional or real, are undeniable in their appeal because we have all had first loves that we feel nostalgic for, despite the fact that we may be married to someone else, have 4 kids, 3 cats and 2 dogs. And a mini-van or two. Or we could be single and nostalgic for a time when life was simpler and love was pure and easy. In reality, most of us wouldn't want to or couldn't reunite with our high school sweetheart. Let's be honest, most of us have moved on and are happily engaged in our busy lives, with or without someone else. But the appeal of sitting down with a Reunion romance novel and indulging in a little fantasy is irresistible- and there's nothing wrong with that, is there?

What A Girl Wants

I write romance novels for both adults and teens. And while these genres are markedly different in their content, one thing remains the same: what a girl wants. Both women and teenage girls want the same thing when it comes to romance. We want to be cherished, valued, respected and of course, loved. When we read romance we get to experience that ideal, as well as see the work it takes to get there. I know there are some critics who say that romance is bad for women, that it teaches women to have unrealistic expectations from their romantic relationships. I say nonsense!

First of all, women and teen girls are not stupid; we know the difference between fiction and reality. But why should we not have the expectation of being respected, loved and valued in our romantic relationships? Why would we want to be in a relationship where we did not experience these elements? If anything, I think reading romance can encourage women to have higher expectations about the way they are treated by guys. That is a good thing.

In my soon to be released novel, No Regrets, a successful career woman is reunited with an old high school flame. He is wary that her demanding career means she is not maternal. He has been jaded by his ex wife, who left him and their baby to pursue a modeling career, so naturally he is concerned about his son's well being. But as Aidan and Jamie fall in love, they discuss career and parenting, with Jamie voicing her opinions loud and clear. Aidan realizes that his successful career doesn't make him a bad or uncaring father, so why would it matter that Jamie is a successful business owner? She is proud of her success and respects herself, so she has no trouble demanding that same respect from Aidan. And she gets it, but only because she won't settle for anything less.

Gone are the days of weak heroines who wait to be rescued by the hero. Well, maybe there are some of those stories still out there, but they don't resonate with the modern woman or the savvy teen girl. My heroines are independent, smart and successful. They go after what they want whether it is a career, a college scholarship or harnessing their unusual powers, as in my Urban Fantasies. In my work in progress, a Young Adult Urban Fantasy, Awaken Me, Camille, who has been orphaned by her adoptive parents, wants to find her biological parents. Despite every obstacle imaginable that is put in her path,  (and her discovery of extraordinary powers she can't understand) she perseveres. Her spunk and intelligence is one of the things that causes the hero not only to fall in love with her, but also inspires him to deal with his own issues regarding his parents, (sworn enemies, though not exactly human). They bring out the best in each other, support each other and respect each other. That, my friends is True Love - and isn't that what a girl wants?